for whom the bell tolls

“The alarm in the morning? Well, I have an old tape of Carlo Maria Giulini conducting the Vienna Philharmonic Orchestra in a perfectly transcendent version in Shubert’s seventh symphony. And I’ve rigged it up so that at exactly 7:30 every morning it falls from the ceiling onto my face.”

  — Stephen Fry

 Are you one of those people that not only have a really hard time getting out of bed in the morning but hardly even hear the alarm?

I am. In my half awake hallucinatory condition I keep snoozing and snoozing, somtimes for hours. I like setting my alarm way too early, because I hate the feeling of waking up late and having to rush out of bed. Milan Kundera described it perfectly:

“…people don’t respect the morning. An alarm clock violently wakes them up, shatters their sleep like the blow of an ax, and they immediately surrender themselves to deadly haste. Can you tell me what kind of day can follow a beginning of such violence? What happens to people whose alarm clock daily gives them a small electric shock? Each day they become more used to violence and less used to pleasure.”

— Milan Kundera, Farewell Waltz

There’s nothing better than waking up early noticing you’ve got twenty more minutes of sleep, dozing in and out of consciousness. But the more I snooze, the more I become completely ignorant towards the alarm. Sooner or later my deep sleep phase kicks in and the damage is done.

That’s why I started setting two different alarms. The first one is the nice one. The second one’s the cruel one. The final call. My last chance of getting the tube, of not missing certain office hours, of being on time. I’ve become quite an expert on the subject of picking alarm sounds. And I’ll share some of the secrets in confidence:

Don’t pick your favorite song. You like it too much to turn it off.

Don’t pick your least favorite song. Do you really want to wake up with Nana Mouskouri stuck in your head?

But do pick something that almost gives you a heart attack.

                                                                                                                                       Here’s a peek at my personal alarm sound favorites:

Edith Piaf – Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien.  It worked in Inception. And it works for me.

The Chronicles of Narnia OST – To Aslan’s Camp. Don’t try if you’re fifty or older.

John Willams – Star Wars Main Theme. Such a good thing to wake up to!

Lion King OST – Circle of Life

And last but not least the 20th Century Fox Intro.

                                                                                                                                            The list is still growing and open for suggestions!